Day 4,5…8

The days are finally flying past, it took long enough for them to take off! That and school is starting again, less time to think about my existence, more stress hence a search for more fun, but first I had to get out of town, to a place where two duvets at night has to be supplemented with a two t-shirts, a sweatshirt, woollen socks and pjs, the days are grey but it’s quiet, there’s no pressure, no other people that aren’t family and loads of fresh air. It’s lovely, wonder how much damage it’ll do to my school work if I stay all week…what the hell, we’ll just have to find out…I still miss him a whole lot but he’s gotta work, see how I’ve grown?




Saturday I went shopping, then drinking, then the happy front I’d been putting out for all the world to see came tumbling down in floods of tears, Snuggles was a darling, I was probably wailing on the phone at some point, no more cocktails for me, that’s where Miriam resides, in cocktails and hormones..damn!




All this talk about rapture and the end of the world is getting tired!! Just watched Angelica Zambarano’s interview, she’s going on and on and on…about her experience with Jesus when she passed out, scratch that died!! for 23hours and saw heaven and hell, and the pope and Michael Jackson chillin in the same space in hell oh yea and the late Spanish musician Selena Quintanilla, doubt anyone I know knows her, and why would you? She sang and wrote songs in Latin, she was pretty big among the Latin Americans though, couple of winning albums, singles and some other awards I wouldn’t care much for; she was important enough though, for George Bush to declare the day she was murdered “Selena Day”. Why does her name sound like a mboch saying Serena?




So I think that was the last trigger, had a nasty nightmare that everyone was raptured in my family except me, somehow the emotion that elicited apart from panic was humiliation coz somehow in my dream my dad was self righteously using me as an example to what happens to bad people, thankfully as soon as they mercifully left for heaven all my friends were still around, it didn’t even feel half bad being left by all the holy people on earth for eternal damnation once we all got together.
Still, I woke up in a panic, maybe it’s really coming to an end…I hope not, I want to fall in love, get married, kids, millions..I’m way too young!