The days are finally flying past, it took long enough for them to take off! That and school is starting again, less time to think about my existence, more stress hence a search for more fun, but first I had to get out of town, to a place where two duvets at night has to be supplemented with a two t-shirts, a sweatshirt, woollen socks and pjs, the days are grey but it’s quiet, there’s no pressure, no other people that aren’t family and loads of fresh air. It’s lovely, wonder how much damage it’ll do to my school work if I stay all week…what the hell, we’ll just have to find out…I still miss him a whole lot but he’s gotta work, see how I’ve grown?
Saturday I went shopping, then drinking, then the happy front I’d been putting out for all the world to see came tumbling down in floods of tears, Snuggles was a darling, I was probably wailing on the phone at some point, no more cocktails for me, that’s where Miriam resides, in cocktails and hormones..damn!
All this talk about rapture and the end of the world is getting tired!! Just watched Angelica Zambarano’s interview, she’s going on and on and on…about her experience with Jesus when she passed out, scratch that died!! for 23hours and saw heaven and hell, and the pope and Michael Jackson chillin in the same space in hell oh yea and the late Spanish musician Selena Quintanilla, doubt anyone I know knows her, and why would you? She sang and wrote songs in Latin, she was pretty big among the Latin Americans though, couple of winning albums, singles and some other awards I wouldn’t care much for; she was important enough though, for George Bush to declare the day she was murdered “Selena Day”. Why does her name sound like a mboch saying Serena?
So I think that was the last trigger, had a nasty nightmare that everyone was raptured in my family except me, somehow the emotion that elicited apart from panic was humiliation coz somehow in my dream my dad was self righteously using me as an example to what happens to bad people, thankfully as soon as they mercifully left for heaven all my friends were still around, it didn’t even feel half bad being left by all the holy people on earth for eternal damnation once we all got together.
Still, I woke up in a panic, maybe it’s really coming to an end…I hope not, I want to fall in love, get married, kids, millions..I’m way too young!
Day two, Snuggles has been gone more than 24 hours now, I feel like my body is still in shock coz I’m fine, I miss him, especially last night when it was the first day of the full moon, if he’d stayed one more day it would have been our second full moon together, it’s so cool that we both appreciate it, I’m guessing for two different reasons seeing as I’m such a romantic and while he tries…yea doubt his appreciation of the lunar system is romantic based.
I can do twenty days of his absence, with much difficulty, but it can be done..its more than twenty days that starts to worry me, then I think that if I’m in this for the long haul, then this are just temporary hurdles that we’ll look back at and dismiss, barely remembering that small twick in our relationship. Yea, I’m turning to a positive spirit to take me through 
So to keep me busy as the days hopefully fly past, I have started a flickr account for all my photo addiction habits, Koki, how do you not have an account? your a photo maniac!
I'll try blog everyday its easier if I make it the 20day diary but that would just sound obsessive and weird..the weeks will just fly by…i hope!
So today I get this strange nightmare; i was getting attacked by kukus, many hens!! woke up sweating and with a mad tummy ache, dunno if they’re related..
Yesterday was a harder day, I guess it gets easier so long as I do stuff and we talk...painted my nails bright red and my fingers bright blue, I want to colour my hair ,maybe have it cut, join a gym...everything about me suddenly seems so dull and predictable, getting out of the house is the hardest part, tomorrow I'll try again, won't lose hope because today I tried and couldn't..
It’s day one Snuggles has left for Loki, it’s sad, I’m sad but seeing as there’s not much I can do I guess we just have to brave it, we goes for me, Kaki and hormonal, emotional and irrational Miriam who takes the tiniest of things with a lot more gusto
I've formulated a plan that should leave Miriam a happier, less stressed, more relaxed person, week one should fly as I have stuff to do everyday, salon, movies, job interviews, drinking plans, gals night in, then Nyeri for a week, the last week shouldn’t be that hard to deal with…I'll be fine! will I? sigh!! I already miss him and it’s just been two hours, poor me.
I miss everything, his smile, his light, easy way of looking at stuff, his sleepy face with his long eyelashes clouding his whole face, his mock judgmental tone in his voice when we cook together, poking him…that’s as far as I can go without tearing up…
The weeks will come and go, we’ll have bigger, more scarier issues to deal with, I’m not going to let anxiety take over me, that’s when Miriam takes over…
Oh well, let’s see what this distance does to us, it could make us stronger…
