It’s times like this…

It's a starry night; my head is stuck in the clouds, I don't want to come down, the view is amazing. 


The dark midnight skies; the stars right ahead of me, surrounding me, lighting up the whole sky, a serene, quiet light filling all the pockets of darkness around me. I don't want to have to come back to earth, here where I am, no one can touch me, nothing could possibly go wrong, it's quiet, the sky around me emitting a tranquil glow. Here everything goes my way, we laugh when nothing is funny, up here it's just me and you, no earthly poisons working at destroying us, just me and you and the magic between me and you. Up here we have no rules, we rule the world, nothing but our love matters, so long as the stars shine when they do and the moon follows its cue and the shooting stars remain just that; all we do is laugh and dance and walk through the times.


 It's beautiful here, we have the world at our feet, you walk I follow, you hold out your hand in between clouds, there's laughter in your eyes, the pain is replaced by contentment, the hard lines on your forehead soften to distant creases representing the faraway times light years ago. All pretenses forsaken, this is how it should be, an imperfect peaceful joy. This is where I want to hang out, please don't make me come down!! No!!




Reality, that's just cold.





Ok, I'm back. There are no stars, it's a dark night with a slice of crescent, reminds me of those nights that creatures of the night prey on silly travelers of the night, where on earth would anyone possibly be headed at this hour anyway? There is no gentle breeze it's still and clammy. Watching reruns of Glee and wishing I could sing like they can. I'd sing through my days, annoy the hell out of everyone around me. I'd sing instead of talk, get everyone jealous, possibly why God chose to give me a quiet gift instead. He considered His creations' sanity, perhaps His too.



This week I made a promise to myself that I'd start praying, try make it habit and not think of God as this Huge guy seated somewhere within the sky looking down at me, shaking His head at me with a permanent frown coz I never seem to do anything right, not anything that matters to Him anyway, doubt He cares much about my diet plans, my baby project blog or the 27 out of 30 I got in my marketing paper or my new goal to quit cursing like a sailor.



So here I go, Thursday morning, ok almost morning, my prayer before I sleep;



How's it going Lord,

I know I promised to talk to You more often but I also asked you to make me a more positive and influential person, so far nothing has changed. Still pessimistic ol' lady U. so I guess we're kinda even. But since we can't keep playing the silent game, I will be the bigger person here. So far my week has not gone without incidence, thank you for that Lord, You know I can't live a drama-free life, what would be the point of living? Also, Lord, thank you for the constant heat and blue skies though it wouldn't hurt if every two days you gave us less sun, more cool weather, and not a storm Lord, You have a tendency to do stuff on the extremes like that downpour You gave us on valentines. I don't mean to sound selfish or anything, but why would you choose my most miserable day, couple it with the fact that I forgot my sweater and umbrella home, get rid of all the vendors near school who sell umbrellas then introduce into us a storm so heavy and long!? That wasn't fair, my hair almost didn't recover.



Anyway Lord, I'm thankful for your presence in my life, however silent you sometimes go, I have this feeling that a lot of things could have gone wrong on so many incidences but you saw me through. I have a lot to thank you for. Thank you for the times I laugh, the courage to cry, the anger you help me mask so well and the lessons You've taken me through and helped me learn. Your really patient, I tend to forget my lessons then you have to remind me, though Lord, sometimes I think You get carried away with me, looking back, you accorded me some really bitter pills. I don't think all five of them were necessary, but I guess you're God, you know best. I think I've learnt my lessons though, just a suggestion.



Ok, on to things I want, please let me make it through this semester without any mishaps, it's the busiest I've had, the work load is starting to get frustrating and my patience levels are dangerously low. If I don't graduate next year I'll be the laughing stock of all my peers. I think we both agree my ego can't take yet another blow. That's all I want for now, well, since you're Lord, you could go through my heart and fish out the other wishes I'm modestly storing away..there should be one or two tucked in there somewhere.

As I sleep, all I ask for is a deep, dreamless sleep, honestly dreams are over rated, mess my sleep patterns, after the dramatic end, I wake up and it's always too early and I'm exhausted.
Amen.