It's Sunday Again?!!

Before I met Dimple, I thought my life was really messed up, (I use thought because if I knew then what I know now, I'd have slapped myself for being unappreciative)!!




It was a random Friday evening, I was miserable, hanging out with P and wondering where my life was headed, I was getting convinced we were driving straight into the pits.




I called my girl Angy up, she's the only one who gets me out of my deepest, darkest moments and asked her if I could see her. She said we do a sleepover and I didn't have the strength to suggest anything better. So I rushed home, got an overnight bag and went to meet her. my mood was nasty, she was in a bar and I thought, "Great! perfect night to third wheel her and Big T."




That evening, I met Dimple, he made me laugh all night, and for the first time in days, I completely forgot about all my shit and relaxed and let myself not think through all my crappy life's decisions. We hit it off, he was so easy to talk to, relate to and listen to. It was fun!! I knew that I wanted this guy in my life, not short term, no way short term!!


Do all good things come to an end? Like dreams? Or do good things happen to those who wait? I'm getting slightly confused by all the wise sayings the English language has flying around. I just want to be happy, is that too hard to ask?!!


Some clearly messed up guy once said "Hope is the worst of evils for it prolongs the hurt of men." How encouraging that I had to see that today of all perfectly miserable days.






I thought my life was a mess till I listened to his, I wanted to cry for all the heartache he'd gone through and be there for him, show him that not all women take for granted such beautiful men. I wanted to go to wherever the hell she was and bitch slap her for dragging a perfectly good man through the mud and messing him up for us perfectly good girls too strong to be messed up by our past men.






Is there a romance story out there that has this clause in it? That would be all the encouraging I'd need, maybe I should google "romance stories that start with a guy messed up by another woman", but I cant risk there not being any results. 






If I walk now, I save myself months or (God forbid) years of tears and competing with the memory of the bitch who he loved who messed him up; but I may walk out on a good thing that could have been solved by a little patience and space. 


An incredible thing that could finally fix my increasingly jaded view of love forever, if that even exists. 




The cloudy days are getting longer and less far in-between, I grow weary.

I didn't bother with church today, it would have helped by now if it was going to, right? So I went out yesterday, got nice and wasted, danced like I was on some steroid and....well my memory stops after the first two hours..Angy will fill me in..




I woke up at about half noon to my cousin giving me a strange look. Apparently, yes I maintain apparently despite the irrevocable prove, I got home, somehow, no recollection of that either I'm afraid, and one by one took off all my clothes, leaving a trail from the kitchen door to just beside my bed. 


Yup I was snoring in bed stark naked and I'd kicked off my duvet. Sigh! Death would have been easier than hearing her narrate to all and sundry how she woke up to follow my trail of clothes to the kitchen on her way to get breakfast.


 I refuse to be humiliated!! things could have been so much worse! So much..I have to keep repeating that. 




Writing has always been my therapy, my first love, so why isn't it helping now?
Oh it has helped me see a few things I keep missing; if you think your life is a mess now, it could be way more messier, don't sweat it too much..


I pray that one day I read this post and laugh at how unnecessarily stressed out I was coz I'll be happy.